I've Been Talking Without Speaking.
The silence between my words.
Scene opens – the room is quiet. A familiar mental space. I'm sitting at the edge of my thoughts. My inner self(Tazkiyah)sits across from me. No judgment(or is it?). Just presence.
Halimat:
I haven’t written in so long.
Even when I promised myself two months ago…
Not a single post. Not even a short note.
Just silence.
Tazkiyah:
You chose that.
You decided to walk the path of not writing.
You stayed quiet — even when your words were begging for air.
Halimat:
But I don’t know if I chose it out of strength…
Or fear.
Is it fair to say I gave up?
Or maybe I just felt… lost.
Lost in thought. Lost in doubt.
Lost in everyone else’s noise but mine.
Tazkiyah:
You weren’t just lost.
You were shrinking,hiding.
You wanted to speak — but only if the world applauded first.
Halimat:
That’s true.
I was seeking validation.
That applause–before–action kind of validation. I didn't want to create unless someone was watching, listening,approving. So I didn't create at all.
Tazkiyah:
And what did that do for you?
Halimat:
It left me empty.
Unwritten.
Some of the most heartfelt things I drafted —
never left my notes.
A bouquet of gists I never delivered.
I told myself, “What’s the point?”
I got angry at myself…
But instead of healing, I justified the anger.
Until someone looked me in the eye… and said something I couldn’t unhear.
Tazkiyah:
What did they say?
Halimat:
They said,
“You’ve been too focused on being seen.
And not enough on serving.
You’re withholding value… because you're afraid of not being valued.”
And I froze. Not because I was shocked but because she knew me too well in and out,because they were right.
I was supposed to be giving.
But I got caught up in getting.
Getting praise. Getting approval. Getting noticed.
That was never supposed to be the focus.
That was never why I started.
Tazkiyah:
So what now? What happens to the silence?
Halimat:
I'll break it of course.
I'll break it, not with perfect words,but with honest ones.
I’m choosing to write again.
Not to be impressive,
but to be in service — to those who might need the exact words I’m scared to post.
I’ll write… because someone out there is feeling the same confusion,
the same self-doubt,
the same silence.
Tazkiyah:
And when the applause doesn’t come?
Halimat:
I’ll still write.
Because now I know:
Validation may feel sweet,
but purpose is what sustains.
And my purpose is to express.
To create.
To give.
Tazkiyah:
Then welcome back.
Not to the spotlight —
but to your calling.
Halimat:
Thank you.
From now on, I write for impact.
Not for likes.
I write because it heals.
Because it helps.
Because it’s mine.